21 and grumpy.

I can officially get married now. Sign up for my own mobile line. I can’t think of a spectacular introduction to my passage into adulthood.

But as expected, I wanted my 21st either high key or low key. Last year, I was adamant about spending my birthday overseas ( by myself ), well I did. India wasn’t planned at all. It just came up in December.

But thanks for all the phone calls, messages and comments. It didn’t go as low key as I wished it to be. My internship buddy, this Jap girl – got me a cake on last Friday night at her farewell party and surprised me with it. Sweet of her, but thoroughly unnecessary. I would have loved a quieter birthday. Then my roommate got me flowers and an earring box from Jaipur. Saturday night was spent at a Chinese restaurant with the Singapore Club Delhi. I sat at the same table with a lovely elderly couple who turned out to be the High Commissioner and his wife to Delhi. Also went to a fair which was interesting with this American lady whom I met on an internet forum. The rellies called me on my birthday. Then my Mom told me today, that they were talking about my going to clubs. I don’t know who to be annoyed at – at her for being prickled by it, or the rellies who unwittingly perpetuate gossip.

But I’m too tired to give a fuck. Going to clubs don’t make you bad, though I’d be the first one to admit that I’m not your model-church going kid like most of the family is, I never claimed to be. Of course, that hardly makes me benchmark wild child. I can hear some of my friends laughing at this.

I detest it tremendously when people make assumptions. But other than to let them know their assumptions suck and lack a substantial bit of accuracy, you can’t do much about it. Sometimes living your life with a certain degree of ambivalent callousness especially towards environmental hazards ( talking about people specifically) is necessary to preserve my sanity.

Oh, one of my whom I don’t know personally colleagues got killed in a car accident when a truck carrying bricks smashed into her car. Because I don’t know her, grief is beyond me. What gets to me is that, while I ride rickshaws ( a necessary mode of transport here, I only use the cars if the company cabs picks me up from work and sends me home you can’t hail cabs off roads here), I have developed a false sense of invincibility that has been shattered just like that. The drivers here on the road are absolutely reckless. But then you gradually got used to that after the initial trauma for cars cutting in and out without warning. You thought maybe it’s the way its like here and that most rickshaw drivers have mastered the art of dodging and bring you to your destination safely.

Well, it’s not true. I’m scared shitless right now. Also, on Sunday, there was a bomb scare in one of the malls. These couple days, my moods have taken a downswing. I’m enjoying India – but I’m also irritable, slightly depressed and would take a swing at one or two of flat mates given the chance. The left the dirty dishes again. What is this? Cockcroach Charity. They also broke my eggs, used my rice (without asking), and dumped my new shaker of salt in their soup by mistake but have not volunteered to buy a new one to replace it.

The roommate is the slight saving grace in my living conditions.

At work - the shit has hit the fan.

I think its one of those days, where I'm making nails scratching on blackboards are glorious melody.

You’re Going to be Jet-Li-ed.

I’m into the beginning of my second week here in India. From the last blog update, I’ve gotten a new room mate from Lithuania. She’s alright, I’d even say pretty good from the start – but as I experience increasing exposure to people of different cultures, I’m all the more aware of the chasm between Asian Oriental and Western social cultures. Honestly, to hell with the whole racial harmony mantra of reveling in the differences in cultures – the whole uniqueness. Well, not to hell with it entirely, but it is easy to be simply blinded by the mutual fascination of exotic differences and forget that it can amount to a certain degree of friction.

Let me give you the low down. She’s the latest flat mate to live in the company flat. Unfortunately, we’re short of a key. So she’s going to this wedding and decides to leave early from work since she’s has nothing more on her plate, after we headed to the immigration office with another one of our flat mates from Turkey. Without even asking my plans, ( technically the key is mine ) she asks for it saying telling me that I can get the key from another ( German ) flat mate when I get back to the office, because it works out easier that way. Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely no qualms about lending her the key. It’s just the fact that she didn’t bother finding out if that would inconvenience me and simply assuming that it would be perfectly fine. In fact, I had plans made. The other room mate with us, simply turned to me and said dismissively “Oh, it would be no problem.” Thing is, that would be no problem, IF I didn’t make plans for the evening and went straight home. And how come, she didn’t volunteer the key.

I’m getting mad all over again. I really don’t want to make a racial issue here, but there is some truth there. It’s the whole submissive oriental stereotype shit going on here. I see it happening to the other Taiwanese intern when another German intern wanted to use her desk. True, they were on friendly terms – but I felt like it was as though he was wheedling her into doing so. I could sense her frustration; she was being pushed from desk to desk. So in this way, I’m happily lumped into the category, of submissive oriental kid. It doesn’t help the least that in the new environment, I tend to be lot more reticent than vocal, more likely to say yes than no, even if I don’t feel like it. Guess what? Fuck them all. No, I’m not going to be deliberately antagonistic, but no way if I’m going to let anyone step over me.

Oh, Mr British Pratty F.F. ( Fucking Fag, for the record – no, I have nothing against gay people, but this one really does have something up his posterior, and I hope its razor sharp ) – I’ve given up on him. He’s really not nice. I’ve tried to be polite and civil, but I think my limit has been reached. Some individuals aren’t worth sweating for. Miss Turkey and him are good friends. I’m largely ambivalent towards Miss Turkey, I used to think she was one of the nicer ones – but a lot of them honestly wouldn’t step out of their comfort zone unless offered a carrot in terms of chocolate, tobacco or alcohol. I’ve run out of chocolate and emptied my liter bottle of Absolut and I’ve decided that my 9 packs of Virginia Slims should not be thrown away in bad investments.

Going back to my roomie – I do it like you know it when I feel disrespected – ala Titanic, become a distant ice-berg. Well, didn’t take her long to figure it out – she asked if I was angry with her. I was tempted continue the North Pole Treatment, but I decided it wouldn’t solve anything. So I tried reasonably as I could to explain it to her – which I did well I think. She said that she was sorry that it upset me and came over and gave me a hug, and that she didn’t think of it at that point in time and try not to do it again. Its partly chilling and partly relieving – I would never do that, I would ask if it would inconvenience them. Is this an Asian thing? I don’t see many of my friends back home doing this to me, angmoh ones included. Good, that she was willing to talk and change, but somehow I see this issue coming up again soon. I’m not sure if I should invest in this friendship. Maybe if someone western could enlighten me on this.

Basically, today was a bad day. Many other bullshit things happened which I haven’t mentioned.

By the way, I’m not your S-O-K ( submissive oriental kid ), do it again to me, and I’ll fuckin’ Jet-Li your ass.

Post-note: Granted, it was a bad day. I've decided I like my roomie a lot. FF is getting tolerable, but I'm taking effort to make sure we hardly cross paths. I don't think I need so much grief.

Shout out from India.

On The Plane

Chinese New Year was all the more poignant this year – with me scheduled to head to India on the second day. Even before I left home, I was already missing it. My parents, sister and room even. To me it was a little surprising, standing in the middle of my strewn room trying to identify that nervous anticipation that was peculiarly laced with sadness. Six months is a long time – well, at least the first that I’ve been away from home for so long a stretch.

I was brought shopping at Thomson Plaza to stock up on all the local food stuff that I couldn’t get there. This included 8 cans of Ayam Brand tuna, 3 cans of braised pork another 4 cans of luncheon meat and a whole array of other things. I even had a Samsonite hard suitcase to carry those in. The weigh-in 44.4kg. Unfortunately, as I checked in my baggage at the counter a couple hours ago, I was 14.4 kg overweight. For the accountants out there, that’s equivalent to 300 dollars of excess baggage levies.

The nice counter lady, allowed me 5 more kg on top of the 30 kg stipulated. My parents and cousins helped stuffed in as much as they could to my remaining suitcase. To be honest, I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to lug my luggage about when I got to India. Well, there are people made for logistics and I’m certainly not one of them.

I’m currently on the Bangkok-Delhi leg of the journey. 8.01 pm Singapore time to be precise. I appreciate all the farewells and well-wishes from my dear friends, especially those who made their way down to Changi.

Mom, Dad – I love you so much. Like you said, India will be time for me to grow and learn.

Charm – Jie, loves you too. When I’m not around, do take care of the 2 oldies at home.

Cousins- especially Jen & Kev appreciate you coming down. I probably won’t be seeing you till next Christmas again.

Cheryl and Reuben – Thank you too, be happy. Was great seeing you guys at the airport.

JC gang – My heart and soul. Thanks for the gift. Zero points for effort at trying to hide the present, but 110 points out of a hundred for the thought.

Right now, there’s this drunk Indian fucker, kneeing the back of my seat. I feel like kneeing him in the balls.

Adebelle, thanks for calling last night even though we haven’t met up.

Tom! Thanks for calling, try visit me! I’ll get you some bitches maybe.

Nat, Mui, ZR, Lisa thanks for the texts.

Upon Arrival

Landing at Indira Ghandi Airport was not something that sent me reeling. After all, I was preparing for something of a shock given the horror stories and gasps from some individuals I had chatted with. It passed a lot more mundanely. Other than some fucking American redneck bastard cutting my queue for the immigration check point and the subsequent young Indian male officer offering me his personal mobile number to call him. I had a mighty suspicion that I was being hit on.

Today, I had my first rickshaw ride. Here, I foresee it being a transport necessity not like that back home, where trishaw’s blaring RnB and Hip Hop are a rip off tourist attraction. Now that was some adventure. After going to a local mall to pick-up necessities, I had to take one back to the apartment the other alternative being taking a 40 minute walk home. Indians drivers have horrible driving etiquette. The staccato blare of the horns from the continually excessive and redundant use had me cringing in fear, as the drivers weaved in and out of traffic.

My flat ain't fancy. I'm being diplomatic here. But you know what, coming face to face with poverty just about every where, I feel lucky to be where I am. Flatmates are cool, I'll get a German girl for a room mate tomorrow morning. She was due to have arrived last night, but there were strikes at the airport.

All except one flatmate - he basically treats me as if I were invisible. Queer British guy, think Rupert Everette. Very Prattish. I think I would actually like to be friends with him,he's passionate about literature and you guys know how I love literature but his standoffishness puts me off.

Here are some pictures of the flat. My Singaporean friends, do not fear for me. Everything is fine, aside from being a little messy, noted the toilet is filthy. See the pictures and you'll understand. Funny the cleaning lady doesn't clean the toilet.

Will tell you more about my flatmates and experiences so far. I'm still taking it in.

Will write more soon. First good connection I've had since I've arrived, so everything is rushed. Wish I could convey the experience I've had so far, and all its nuances - but this abbreviated version will have to do for now.

Dear friends, comment - keep this in touch thing going ya. Miss you all heaps.

Edit: I decided to remove the photos because I don't quite want this to be indentified by any chance. Wanted to intially remove the inflammtory post after this - but then I feel as if I'm removing some authenticity from my blog.