Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Just so you know ...

I know I haven't been particularly conscientious in up dating my blog despite the ongoing drama in my life. However, this I find is important enough to warrant a post.

Those of who don't know already, or have a slightly vague idea of my stint to India - its been confirmed for a couple of weeks now. I'm leaving for Delhi on 30 Jan for my internship. Be there for 6 months.

Would love to catch up with my any of worthy friends for a cuppa, dinner or something other before I leave.Drop me a text,email or line soon.

Hopefully, I will be a bit more disciplined with the blogging so we can all stay in touch.

Much love.

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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Cads and I.

Most female deep down want to be the exception or least have wanted to. Whether the relevant guy be a passing infatuation or the fabled “The One” in the girlish dreams of yore. Oh, but we know – or at least we will come to, that it will happen with less frequency than we desire.

Sometimes, the reverse happens. Instead of being the exception, we get played. If we’re lucky and we’re not in love, we escape with fun, transient memories punctured with a scrape of disappointing reality. If our lucky stars decide to take an untimely vacation and leave our hearts in the twilight of misfortune – ah, let’s just not go there now.

Well, you know what they say about education. Here’s 2 stories with no distinct moral.

Type 1 Cad

She thought he wasn’t drop dead gorgeous. Relatively attractive, but what he wore had her wrinkle her nose in slight distaste distaste. Track shoes, track pants on the first date? He looked as if he had just come from the gym, minus the sweat – for that would be more horrifying. What would top that off, would be a pungent, oppressive scent of body odor. Thank God, none, as she sniffed the air around surreptitiously.

He disarmed her in an instant. None too deftly.

“Your teeth stick out like Bugs Bunny’s, from that angle.”

She was stunned, feathers certainly ruffled because she felt it almost certainly rude.

Insert Player Highlight 1:
First line of attack. Something jarring but not rude enough to provoke an overt reaction. She’s pushed into thinking that he sees a flaw. Self-assurance might be momentarily shaken. But before she slots him into jackass category, he uses this as an opening to charm himself into her panties.


Slightly put off, she retreats back behind the slightly reserved façade. Thank goodness, she didn’t have to feel the awkward silence, because his energy seemed boundless. Very intense . He looked into her eyes, never letting up. He made her seem as if she were the only thing in the world that mattered in that moment. His cell on silent mode, vibrated loudly. She waited for him to answer it. Even pointedly motioning to it, when he seemed to ignore that. “ Let it ring, its rude to take a call when I’m talking to you.” She’s slightly warmed from the earlier jarring move.

Insert Player Highlight 2:
Emotional manipulation is made even more effective by a tangible show of example. It really doesn’t have to be a show of heavenly thunder or lightning. They don’t sweat the big stuff. The players, I mean. You keep the small shit going long enough to get her hooked. Usually when the story falls apart, she’ll cling.


He cracks a few jokes. Eventually moving to a slightly more serious sounding topic. i.e. his attitude in life.“ Life is short. Live it to the fullest.” Affecting a slightly pensive expression, gazing vaguely thoughtful past her, and eventually kneading his brows together in a show of recalled pain. “ I lost 2 people who were very close to me in one year. My father and sister …” And so the story goes.

Insert Player Highlight 3:
Now everyone go awwwww. Tragedy and family ties are almost always a clincher. As we proceed further into the story, we’ll realize that bald-faced lies aren’t so much a frequent tool. Yes, they are used on occasion, but manipulated half-truths are really the staple. That way, they are less likely to be caught out, if say the supposed long-dead sister who had perished in a car crash resurrects at Christmas with gifts in hand. It is also always easier to harness the nostalgia, pain and emotional dynamo from a real life past experience in convincing hyperbole.


Sometimes, even the most practiced players do make a mistake. Too confident in their prowess, they underestimate the “prudence” of a sweet young thing, and put a straight out move on her too fast. He does invite her over to his place, on the pretext of lending her some books after learning one of her passions in life is reading and writing. An actual copy of the Kama Sutra. Little does she know that he would not be able to find his copy later on and will proceed in an attempt of a practical demonstration.

How he does this, from the earlier conversations, he easily weaves in his expertise at a certain kind of neck massage. Clearly emphasizing the health and wellness expect and his proficiency at it. By then it would seem already natural to offer her a massage. Somehow in the course of the massage, he decides that it would be better if she removed her bra “because it’s blocking my way.” The silly girl obliges. She realizes something’s not quite right when he his hands creep lower and his breath on her neck. With a start, she jumps up, remembering what Mommy said about big bad wolves. She escapes by default. In her flurry, he just manages to grab her hands, look passionately almost pleading in her eyes. He lets her go but not before reiterating a good three times, squeezing her hands as though he could convey his non-existent sincerity “I really want to see you again.” He could.

Insert Player Highlight 4:
Emergency salvage. The “I really want to see you again line” with the right degree of conviction and plea-bargaining.


Let’s jump ahead in the story here and go with the idea that yes, she does see him again, and yes he does manage to get her in his bed. Even then, the girl till now still doesn’t know she’s in over her head. Sometimes, it’s the game not just the shag that keeps the cad going. They want her hook, line and sinker. Nothing like the orgasmic pleasure of pure adoration.

Insert Player Highlight 5:
Throw in the “ We don’t have to have sex all the time line.” Oh baby, now convince her that you like her more for her nubile limbs wrapped around you. Post coital mood, whole cuddly-talky thing for goes on for the first few times. After which it doesn’t happen anymore. Also, do bother to text her the whole “ Miss me?” Just two words line over and over again. Here are some other frequent lines.
“ Thinking about you.”On business trips “ Wish you were here with me, the views great from my hotel room.”( When the other girl is bending over removing her stocking, not technically lying is he?)
Cookie cutter? Still it does work.


So her trust was his. He was getting bored. Say, what about I try get her into a threesome with me and my French lady friend. Oh he tries. When his friend visits from overseas, he invites her over. She goes to his place and wonder why there are little hearts stuck in funny little places like his tie rack, his bathroom and study. He’s getting careless, or he doesn’t care to be careful anymore. He says his lady friend does crazy things like this. He even tells her, the French lady jumped into his bed last night, but he refused to participate saying “ I told her I wouldn’t do anything unless you were here.” Game Over for her. She doesn’t question his account, but brushes his doubts away.

Recalling this later on, she thought it was ironic that he hit on her friends blatantly in front of her at a party, humiliating her. She didn’t want to believe it, mistake maybe. Unmistakable though, because the previous night when she wanted to see him, he didn’t pick up. Saying he had an early flight to catch. At the same time he had texted her acquaintance this message, “ Can you see me tonight? I really want to see you.” She found out the next morning.

That was how that ended. Bitter epiphany.

She wanted to express her displeasure in overt displays of temper. Her friends asked her to. She really wanted to. She felt choked. But she didn’t – she walked away with a lesson learnt.

Cad 2

Well she had thought that she had learnt a lesson. Watching out closely for similar connivers like Cad 1. Cad 2 however was of a different breed, missed her radar. Apart from their skirt chasing enthusiasm, they couldn’t be more different. Cad 1 had a Modus Operandi, Cad 2’s libertine nature was inborn.

A down-to-earth good-hearted individual. Capable with a genuine sincerity affability which had her esteem him rather than desire him at first. Everyone liked him, even men. He sure didn’t pull and smarmy moves on her at first, that’s what liked about him. He held her hand, he didn’t try and put his hand up her shirt. He didn’t throw his money about, which was also what she liked about him. And he read classic novels.

Also a penchant for ladies – that found out a little bit later, much to her chagrin. Sad, she felt because he was one of the few individuals in life she would have loved to get to know better. Not necessarily bear his kids, she’s certainly wizened up to the ways of the world. More like the transient individuals that pass through her life but memories to keep and company to relish. He didn’t quite like her that much. Bed warmer for an occasion or two, she was probably slotted into that category.

Ouch. Brutal honesty, does hurt.

This will be continued in a later post.

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