Anyway ...

Re-reading through my last post, I noticed several grammatical,spelling,syntax errors that I'm tempted to edit like I usually do. But not this time, don't exactly want to relive those emotions, plus it lends the post some sort of authencity. (Sardonic Laughter)

I'm currently feeling a bit numb. No pain - slight whisker of metallic bitterness on the edge of my tongue. I talked to him about it again. Told him it upset me, rationally speaking it shouldn't because I don't have a legitimate right to. But when it comes to someone you love about, rights go out the window. ( understatement, if he would read my previous post). He, of course reacted almost sympathetically, in all cloyingly sweet sensitivity diluted with some pallid humor to deflect the heat.Typical. He's a bit like teflon - non-stick. Everytime I try to bring a point across, some how he manages to make me feel as though I'm making a big deal out of nothing. Manages to look like the poor contemplative good guy caught in a dilemma.

Bottom line remains coldly,jarringly the same. If he really wanted to see me, he would have asked. People can be busy, but busy people make time for people they care about. Conversation ended on a abrupt note of frustration, with him trying to mollify me. Me getting outta there before I start hurling hurtful comments. Once I start, things can get bloody vicious - Bring on out the ammo, I have an entire chest of disappointments and hurt. Better if I make a quick exit then.

Oh, I know the how the spiel will start again. This will get swept under the carpet, and a week of two later, we'll all be pretend-hunky-dory. Nauseatingly polite conversation. Then I get dangerously forgetful,re this previous reality check. We can lie to ourselves so much. Or at least I can. I'm not surprised if I had a pathologically lying grandaunt in my lineage. Or maybe he'll pull a heartless disappearing act like he did last year.

I'm not surprised anymore.

Anyway...

I have a date tonight. Not with him though.This is a casual date - dinner and drinks. This guy's Cancerian. So I don't expect sparks to fly. I miss romance, I hardly get enough of it. Still,I'm just there to have a good time, hoprfully.

Zodiac Horoscopes, wonder how accurate those are. Its like Finance Theory - things are supposed to happen that way, but at least 55% of the time, it doesn't. Well 45% is a pretty high accuracy level. Or maybe we're just doing the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing. Becoming what we read.

I generally get along better with Sags. They crazy and funny. I like that. Someone I nearly went out with did a Horoscope analysis on my sign. Asking for my birthdate,time etc. Well, aside from my main sign - apparently I have a Scorpio rising ( I'm not sure, if I got that right)which explains my flirtatious and largely dormant vindictive streak.

Man, what I am doing - I have my exam papers next week. And going out to Clarke Quay tonight, sitting on the bed now listening to Lush 99.5 FM which REALLY is not study MOOSIC.It also doesn't help that I'm in a Christmas mood already. I'm also playing Christmas carols.

Anyone know of Good Christmas song covers done by current-day artistes? Put them in my MP3.