Another little irony.
My mother comes into my room and asks me,
" How much do you save?"
I grunt rudely and say, " I don't want to tell you."
" Why is it everytime you talk to me, you talk as though I want to take money from you?"
I keep studying.
" From this and the Adidas shoebag, ( Prior to this, she had asked to borrow my shoe bag, and I expressed relcutance because I assumed from the word shoe, she want to borrow my heels - and only certain heels are for loan, but she thought I was reluctant to lend the bag to her )you're not generous. Especially towards your family members."
I'll admit I'm not most generous person around, and I honestly don't see not having generosity to be a vice. You have to be discerning in the distribution of resources. So I say " People aren't generous"
Then she says something to the effect that, I won't help the family if the family is in trouble, implying that I'm squirreling my money away for my own purely selfish reasons.
At this point,I'm tempted to jump up with indignance,hurt and verbally lambast her back. Then, I thought, fuck it.Why I'm pushing my myself so hard now, is so that I can eventually equip myself get be successful, so that I can afford you and Daddy a no worries eventual tirement.
And you know what, Mom, you can't handle the truth. Maybe I'm overestimating myself her, or maybe I'm an arrogant twat but I simply don't trust you guys anymore when it comes to finances. My family will get my money if the NEED be, but I don't want the amount to be known explicitly, because its supposed to be a contingent if its worst case. Don't plan with me in it.
While I'm not purely family focused re my future career wise, part of it is achievement, but a huge part that drives me, is lifting us out of this financial distress which has plagued us for god knows how many fucking years, and I'm sick of it. Its tremendously painful and humbling, each time to have you guys look for jobs at the mercy of the cold,cruel corporate society.
You hurt, I hurt - but I don't show it.
Deep down, in my accordance to my time, my goal is to protect you. I'm rude, abrasive some cutting, because I'm dealing with my own whirlpool of stress,bitterness,anger and growing up that I have to deal with.
You say I'm hard, but I have to be - if not, how am I going to survive, much less conquer a small part of it for us?
The pain drives me.
" How much do you save?"
I grunt rudely and say, " I don't want to tell you."
" Why is it everytime you talk to me, you talk as though I want to take money from you?"
I keep studying.
" From this and the Adidas shoebag, ( Prior to this, she had asked to borrow my shoe bag, and I expressed relcutance because I assumed from the word shoe, she want to borrow my heels - and only certain heels are for loan, but she thought I was reluctant to lend the bag to her )you're not generous. Especially towards your family members."
I'll admit I'm not most generous person around, and I honestly don't see not having generosity to be a vice. You have to be discerning in the distribution of resources. So I say " People aren't generous"
Then she says something to the effect that, I won't help the family if the family is in trouble, implying that I'm squirreling my money away for my own purely selfish reasons.
At this point,I'm tempted to jump up with indignance,hurt and verbally lambast her back. Then, I thought, fuck it.Why I'm pushing my myself so hard now, is so that I can eventually equip myself get be successful, so that I can afford you and Daddy a no worries eventual tirement.
And you know what, Mom, you can't handle the truth. Maybe I'm overestimating myself her, or maybe I'm an arrogant twat but I simply don't trust you guys anymore when it comes to finances. My family will get my money if the NEED be, but I don't want the amount to be known explicitly, because its supposed to be a contingent if its worst case. Don't plan with me in it.
While I'm not purely family focused re my future career wise, part of it is achievement, but a huge part that drives me, is lifting us out of this financial distress which has plagued us for god knows how many fucking years, and I'm sick of it. Its tremendously painful and humbling, each time to have you guys look for jobs at the mercy of the cold,cruel corporate society.
You hurt, I hurt - but I don't show it.
Deep down, in my accordance to my time, my goal is to protect you. I'm rude, abrasive some cutting, because I'm dealing with my own whirlpool of stress,bitterness,anger and growing up that I have to deal with.
You say I'm hard, but I have to be - if not, how am I going to survive, much less conquer a small part of it for us?
The pain drives me.
Labels: Whining Bitchin
posted by nubilewordsmith at 2:12 PM
2 Comments:
They (parents) can be like that at times. It's not your wrong of course. That the cause of pain is in fact to provide a better life for them hurts all the more, doesn't? But they don't know. You cannot blame ignorance. Eventually you will be appreciated closer the time. Meanwhile press on, it's an admirable thing to do. :)
Will do. *sigh*
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