The Eye of the Storm ...
is a lonely place to be.
The pace of life is so hectic. With impending deadlines looming in the horizon - both short term as well as long term.
I choose the kind of life I want to lead. I set my pace. Sometimes in a desparate bid not to lose ground to emotional turbulances, I have this incredible knack for throwing myself in mind-numbing work.
Wake up - I have this to do, that to do, with the ultimate purpose of tiring myself out to the brink of exhaustion so that I can sleep immediately without having to live the moments of melancholia, that seem to plague me, especially in my solitary state.
Efficiency and effectiveness are my rule of thumb, I'm especially disclined to spend more effort that it is worth. I'd rather forgo the task, and be penalized for it. I get immense peaks,when the full bloom of my effectiveness is realized.
When everything is swirling around you at break-neck speed, I'm sometimes amused,fascinated and almost dazed as I watch the atom-like people in my surrounding collide. Colliding and forming a new type of matter. Vivid interactions begin to make me feel nervous. Nervous because an unnatural jealousy brews that I'm not part of it - eventually it does lose its momentum and fizzles out to an acute and crippling sense of emptiness that not even your friends can fill. It launches me into a pensive mode, where I can't quite function efficiently until I get it out of my system.
Like now - when I'm supposed to be doing some quantitative models.
It's catch-22 all over again.
By the Way
When I become ultra successful, when I've reached my peak given all that I can - enough to take care of my Mom, Dad and sister comfortably for life -
I think I might commit suicide.
Its such a seductive idea, to die at highest point.
Interruption at its finest.
Coitus interruptus.
How beautifully tragic.
What an exquisite waste.
There's a flaw in my perfect plan - Insurance companies don't payout to the beneficiaries of policy holders that commit suicide.
Bullshit.
Bah, I'm resourceful enough, I'll find a way round.
The pace of life is so hectic. With impending deadlines looming in the horizon - both short term as well as long term.
I choose the kind of life I want to lead. I set my pace. Sometimes in a desparate bid not to lose ground to emotional turbulances, I have this incredible knack for throwing myself in mind-numbing work.
Wake up - I have this to do, that to do, with the ultimate purpose of tiring myself out to the brink of exhaustion so that I can sleep immediately without having to live the moments of melancholia, that seem to plague me, especially in my solitary state.
Efficiency and effectiveness are my rule of thumb, I'm especially disclined to spend more effort that it is worth. I'd rather forgo the task, and be penalized for it. I get immense peaks,when the full bloom of my effectiveness is realized.
When everything is swirling around you at break-neck speed, I'm sometimes amused,fascinated and almost dazed as I watch the atom-like people in my surrounding collide. Colliding and forming a new type of matter. Vivid interactions begin to make me feel nervous. Nervous because an unnatural jealousy brews that I'm not part of it - eventually it does lose its momentum and fizzles out to an acute and crippling sense of emptiness that not even your friends can fill. It launches me into a pensive mode, where I can't quite function efficiently until I get it out of my system.
Like now - when I'm supposed to be doing some quantitative models.
It's catch-22 all over again.
By the Way
When I become ultra successful, when I've reached my peak given all that I can - enough to take care of my Mom, Dad and sister comfortably for life -
I think I might commit suicide.
Its such a seductive idea, to die at highest point.
Interruption at its finest.
Coitus interruptus.
How beautifully tragic.
What an exquisite waste.
There's a flaw in my perfect plan - Insurance companies don't payout to the beneficiaries of policy holders that commit suicide.
Bullshit.
Bah, I'm resourceful enough, I'll find a way round.
posted by nubilewordsmith at 11:57 PM
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