Time Does Tell

(Currently in the office, with some free time – well time seems to past a lot faster if I do something rather than just surfing, so I decided to write)

Not necessarily with laser- like precision, but a fairly good indication I say. Just before a left for Vietnam, “Coffee” was arranged with a certain individual. Some history, this individual was what I would term a Mild Flirtation - I met at a friend’s party more than 2 years back. We met again at one or two other occasions at mutual friends’ gatherings with brief hellos and finally met again about two months ago at another friend’s birthday. Then he randomly asked me out to catch up over coffee about a week ago.

I was curious, because I wondered what we had to catch up on since we really had absolutely nothing to catch up on; I had not even talked to him for an extended period of time. Also thought there was some kind of flirty undertone his part, so my curiosity was piqued. By the way, I find the TOA (Term of Affection) “Sweetie” terribly revolting. Stomach wants to lurch out of its designated biological address.

So after 10 minutes after the arranged time he returns my 2 missed calls and says
“You’re there already? Oh, I’m running a lil’ late, be there in 5 minutes.”

So I wait.
And wait.
And wait for 20 minutes.

There were 5 things unacceptable to me.

1. No reason was given for being late.
(I’m not unreasonable, if it was a dire emergency – explain and I will try to understand.)

2.No apology was given for being late.
(I’m not unreasonable, if 1. was a half-baked reason, apologize or put up a show to indicate how contrite you are groveling not necessary though it might help)

3.Call was made after the arranged time.
(I’m not unreasonable, let me know before hand so I won’t be hanging around looking stupid and wasting my time, let me know before hand)

4.Call was made in return only after I called twice after the arranged time.
(I’m not unreasonable, but don’t you think if someone is going to be late, the onus is on the late-comer to let you know?)

5.He sucked at math. 20 is not equal to 5.
(Look, I’m really not that unreasonable, its okay if you do the above 4, I’m not going to get mad if you can’t count =) So okay, maybe 4 things that were unacceptable.) The common decent courtesy line was already violated.

So at the 30 minute mark, let him know I was tired of waiting and was out. Then I left. Well, he got there as soon as I decided to leave. But I’m glad I left anyway.Later he texted that he was sorry, that he just wanted to let me know that he didn’t ditch me, but he was “caught up with getting a cab” and thus was 30 minutes late. (Please translate, funny because I got the strange feeling he got on the cab only after I called him). Oh yeah, and please forgive me hun, we’ll do it better next time.

Okay, first things first issue was not the fact that there was a possibility that he would blow me off – that should not have been a possibility save a good reason. Then I would be pissed. Well, if he did, he should probably burn in hell and get raped by a horse. ;)

So the issue that bothered me was the lack of consideration as demonstrated by the above 4/5 things. But no, I’m not pissed. I was mildly annoyed because it was a waste of time. Though it was not exacerbated because I was already in town and just finished a late meeting with project mates in school ten minutes away. Annoyance does go away fast. After that it was simply really an automatic analysis that one of my best friends say I’m fond of doing.

Is this guy interested in me? No, if he were he would considerate and early. If he was, he would have been a lot more considerate and called with good reason. Drill down : Extreme case scenario, even if he were really interested and did not demonstrate some semblance of decent courtesy much less gentlemanly behavior, would it be good to waste time on a person, considering this characteristics will probably show up time and again. Two Cases: (1) Someone I would go out with : Big fat no. Okay, eliminated. (2) As a friend: Well, not if I have to meet up with him (2a) individually, because my time will be wasted. (2b) in a group: Yeah maybe, because my time won’t be wasted since there would be other people on time.

Do I dislike/abhor him? Nope, nothing personal but yeah would still talk to him if its within my comfort zone. But no, will not go out of my way to associate with him because it would cost time and effort which could be invested in other meaningful relationships with old friends, new friends and the ones that are worth the time with a reasonable rate of return; just a judgment call following a simple cross benefit analysis there everyone should habitually do =)